Dave Dash

This is hell.

Apparently we are through the worst of it. Or we're just used to the sleep deprivation. I expected lack of sleep and I expected crying, but not so intense. Every parent we've run into assures us that this goes away and that it gets better. Some even say that this is just the "forth trimester" and once they pass three months the clouds will make way for the sunlight.

Time couldn't move quickly enough.

I do know that things have been getting better. Here's some improvements in the last two weeks:

• Sibi is at (or possibly above) his birth weight after having lost a great deal of weight (more than the acceptable 10%).
• Sibi can be exclusively breast-fed. At the hospital they supplemented with formula until Katie's milk came in.
• Sibi can feed directly on the breast, rather than via bottle. This is thanks to the lactation consultants at Good Samaritan.
• We no longer need to use a syringe during the feeding process. Previously feeding required both Katie, myself, a syringe and a flailing baby.
• Sibi is calm when he goes to the breast. Before he would flail and fight it.
• We can now watch movies while he nurses. Before we hadn't quite mastered the skill of feeding him.
• Katie is now able to get a passable amount of sleep. Her OB told her she was sleep deprived a few days after Siddhartha was born.
• I am able to get a reasonable amount of sleep.
• We can usually tolerate his crying better and in some cases console him.

Lucky for us, Katie's mom has been helping us quite a bit while we adjust. We're still dealing with a lot of mystery and unknowns and its scary and pushes us quite a bit. His new thing is crying inconsolably at night until he's nursing again. Hoping it's a growth spurt and I'm hoping that we see some quality of life improvements in the next few weeks.

I'm nervous about returning to work. I'm hoping that my mom who arrives on Friday when Katie's mom leaves can find ways to console him as well.